Deceased September 23, 1985
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In Memory
Mike McCaffrey’s death was a great shock to all of us who knew and loved him. To an extent, this shock is endemic to the loss of a friend taken so suddenly in his youth. But with Mike, the sense of loss is intensified, both because of the friend he was and the life he led.
Mike brought us together. By filling his life with vitality and optimism, he was an inspiration to all who knew him. Perhaps more than any of us, he was going places. He was among the first in our class to get a job and begin his career, to get engaged and married and, just recently, to buy a house. Mike always spoke with excitement about these major events, and although we sometimes gave him a hard time for so quickly acting somewhat middle-aged, through sharing in these events with Mike, we all grew up a little. Part of the sense of disbelief surrounding his death, I think, is that the vitality of Mike’s life nudged many of us from the comfort of college days to thoughts of career and family. Mike brought us together; with Mike gone, we seem to be more on our own than before.
Mike’s life was grounded in commitment and integrity. At Amherst, his dedication to the Student Assembly, College Council and coaching was absolute. I saw Mike stay up until three in the morning mediating a budget dispute between the Student Allocations Committee and the Black Students’ Union, read the letter he worked so painstakingly on to the parents of a freshman Student Assembly representative who died suddenly one summer and heard one of my classmates tell of how Mike forced a group of friends home early from a wild night in New York, just so he could be at Amherst by 8:00 the next morning to make the pre-game breakfast with the women’s soccer team that he helped coach.
Mike’s integrity was demonstrated through his unfaltering willingness to speak his mind. His word was never doubted, and when he gave his views on a matter, you knew those views came from his heart. Of course, his directness sometimes left him open to loud ribbing from his friends, such as when he stated confidently one day during his senior year that he could run any Fortune 500 corporation—right now or when he made one of his many suspect pronouncements on the fortunes of his beloved New York Yankees. But we all respected Mike’s honesty, and I know it played a major role in his successes at Amherst and R. R. Donnelly and in his many friendships.
Just as he brought us together by setting an example with his vitality and integrity, so did Mike keep us together. He was tremendously interested in his friends’ activities and was always calling to find out how you were and what was new in your life. He kept such regular tabs on his friends that many of us referred to him as our private class agent—he could always be counted on to have talked recently to or know the whereabouts of almost any classmate.
Mike also brought us together through his humor and energy. He was fun to be with. I remember going golfing with him on the spur of the moment one Saturday—at two in the morning (and being picked up by Amherst security), and I will never forget his love for sports and politics or the good cheer and humor that he brought to so many of life’s daily events.
Foremost in my memory of Mike is our friendship. Mike was the best friend that one could have. He had the strength and self-confidence to open up and speak from the heart. Mike was willing to talk of his hopes and dreams, of his doubts and fears and of his love for Romy and his family. In so doing, he simply brought the same vitality and integrity to our friendship that he brought to the rest of his life.
If a man’s life may be measured by the number of loyal friends he acquires, Mike’s life was a triumph. Although I fear that I will never understand why he was taken from us so quickly, I know that my life is far richer for having known him. Mike is not here to bring us together anymore, but let us not turn our sense of loss and disbelief into bitterness. Instead, let us use Mike’s life as an inspiration to our own, for I believe it is incumbent upon each of us to be Mike’s legacy and to bring to our lives the vitality, integrity and cheer which Mike brought to his.
Andrew Humphrey ’83