Deceased June 7, 2024
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In Memory
Richard “Rick” Stanwood Benner, 82, passed away on June 7, 2024, in Charlottesville, Va., his beloved home of over 44 years. Rick was an exceptional person, and his long life was a great story. He leaves behind his sister Sue, who was a tremendous help to him in his later years, and his former wife and close friend, Ann, the source of much long-time support. He also leaves behind three remarkable children: Holly, the daughter produced with his first wife, Pam Matthews (d. 2004); and sons Tom and Jack, produced with Ann.
He graduated high school from The Governor’s Academy in Massachusetts, where he was captain of the soccer, basketball and baseball teams, and went on to Amherst College, where he was an All-New England soccer goalie and member of the Theta Delta Chi fraternity, making many lifelong friends.
He read all the books of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh and was an avid meditator. As he struggled with health challenges, he used mindfulness for clarity and calmness and attended meditation retreats and classes throughout his adult life.
Rick loved people, and his vocations were always geared to helping them: teaching about life and life lessons to teenagers and, of course, coaching them when he had the opportunity. In 1980, Rick moved to Charlottesville to work as the coordinator of career planning for the School of Arts and Sciences at the University of Virginia’s Office of Career Planning and Placement. Rick fervently believed that meaningful and fulfilling work always existed somewhere for everyone, and he was a crusader for people wanting to find work that they loved.
Some people can be drains—they enter a room, and you can almost hear the air, with all its ambient enthusiasm, rush out. But Rick Benner was a fountain. When Rick entered a room, you knew that kindness, empathy, caring, lame jokes, teasing, pranks, fun times and much love for all around was afoot. If Rick Benner was in your life, you were very lucky. Hear from his college friends and fraternity brothers:
Dave Stringer ’64: Two years after Amherst, we were both teachers. Rick was teaching at a New Hampshire boarding school for middle school-aged boys. The school had its own ski slope, and Rick invited me up to ski. I had never skied, but he said, “No problem.” He’d borrowed boots and skis for me. We stood at the top of their mountain—Rick, me and about 50 young skiers—and Rick introduced me to the students as an Austrian ski instructor, here to give a demonstration run. “What?!” Undoubtedly, a retaliation for a prank I had earlier pulled on him.
Ken Garni ’64: Rick was a good friend, roommate and great teammate. Everyone was made better by knowing him and those of us who were lucky enough to be his fraternity brothers were made so much better. He played a key role not only in extending my longevity at Amherst but also played an equally significant role in helping make my four years at Amherst such a pleasant and worthwhile experience. My gratitude to Rick is even more poignant now. Gracias, amigo.
Dave Potter ’64: During and after college, I was kindly invited for extended stays at Rick’s family’s home on the Bass River in South Yarmouth, where Rick had created the Olympiad—a friendly competition of golf, tennis, sailing and various board games. The last competition each summer was sailing a Sunfish on this relatively calm water. But I capsized, and notwithstanding my near drowning, the result was Rick’s victory in that year’s Olympiad, which he lorded over me for years thereafter.
Steve Smith ’64: We found each other early on, and soon we became a team against the outside Amherst World. Our survival pact related to all things academic, athletic, social and experimental. We seemed to thrive on the same lame humor, the same academic humility and humbleness, the same bewilderment about the opposite sex and the same societal insecurities. For the early college years, we were each other’s seemingly sole/soul support. Together, we somehow found our way successfully through the boot camp known as “Freshman Year at Amherst College”—that is to say, neither of us were exiled to summer school to take over a failed course.
Gil Schmerler ’64: I had the pleasure—and I mean pleasure—of talking to him several times each month during the last three years. Rick was still a funny, mentally agile and empathetic man. His circumstances had changed, and his physical mobility had greatly lessened. But Rick’s spirit, humor and kindness, even as his body and other faculties declined, never waned. I never left a conversation feeling other than uplifted.
Rick was authentic. Rick was genuine. He was a trusted confidant for many. He had a quick and nimble mind. And he was a great friend to all of us. As we write, we see him; we hear him; and we smile as we remember chatting late into the night about that cool girl at Holyoke, the upcoming game against Williams, what in the world was Professor Arons really trying to say or how to manage three essays every week. The support that emanated from his optimism helped at least a few of us survive a very tough curriculum.
While quitting from time to time may have seemed the right option, we all stayed and made it through. We survived because of people like Rick Benner and the many others in his circle. One could not leave those forged-in-academic-battle friendships. And no one did.
May he rest in peace, something he so richly deserves.
Dave Stringer ’64, Ken Garni ’64, Dave Potter ’64, Steve Smith ’64 and Gil Schmerler ’64